Create Your Ideal Parenting Plan: A Step-by-Step Collaborative Guide

Written by Eleanor Barber | Family Team | 15 February 2024

Separating from your partner can be a difficult time, filled with emotional and logistical challenges, especially when children are involved. Navigating the complexities of child arrangements can be daunting, making it difficult to find common ground.

A Parenting Plan can provide an opportunity to work together to find an outcome that suits all parties, with the focus being on what is best for the child, through facilitating an effective co-parenting relationship. In order to collaborate when it comes to creating and implementing a Parenting Plan, there are some things both parties can do to contribute towards a smooth process.

A Neutral Environment

Creating a Parenting Plan requires an open, honest dialogue. You may find that certain environments are less accommodating of this, and there is a requirement for a neutral environment where both parties can feel comfortable. This is a place that facilitates difficult conversations, without distractions and the potential for emotional escalation. For example, a quiet café, or a mediator’s office – any space where both parties feel safe and able to engage. The aim of this is to create a setting that is productive and calm for both parties.

Technology

Nowadays, there is various technology available to facilitate communication between separated parents. For example, there are dedicated co-parenting apps that offer shared calendars, expense tracking and secure messaging. These are effective tools in minimising misunderstandings and providing a clear, documented communication trail.

You can read more about parenting apps and how they can help with communication following a separation here.

Goal Setting

During discussions, it may be helpful to set specific, achievable goals for each meeting. This ensures that conversations remain focused and productive. Whether it’s agreeing a weekly routine, holiday arrangements or educational decisions, setting objectives can help both parties to feel that progress is being made.

Communication

To communicate effectively, parties need to listen as well as speak. It’s important to actively listen to one another, acknowledging concerns and perspectives without judgement. This can pave the way for an understanding, cooperative co-parenting relationship.

Professional Mediation Services

There are occasions when direct communication can be challenging, particularly in the earlier stages of separation. Working with a professional mediator can help to facilitate discussions while ensuring both parties’ voices are listened to and respected. Mediators can guide the conversation, helping to negotiate agreements and offer neutral insight that can bridge any gaps in understanding or expectations.

Template

You may find creating a Parenting Plan from scratch makes a difficult situation even more complex. You may benefit from an existing template that outlines the areas you need to consider and provides a format for you to record any thoughts and decisions that are made. We’ve linked a free Parenting Plan template from National Association of Child Contact Centres (NACCC) and OurFamilyWizard below:

Creating a Parenting Plan that both parties can agree on amidst a separation isn’t easy but it’s a vital step in protecting the wellbeing of your child. By following these tips, and any others that work for you, you can create a solid foundation to begin co-parenting.

If you would like support with child arrangements following a separation, you can contact our experienced Family team by calling 01752 827030 or emailing family@nash.co.uk.